filmreviewqueen

My first quiestion is: What kind of sick person thought up this nasty idea? Sure, it makes for a great horror movie, probably one of the most disturbing ideas I have heard in the past at least 10 years. But, what kind of person was sitting somewhere, at some time, doing god knows what, thinking,"What is the mathematical equation for ass to mouth times 3 people plus a mad scientist? What would that be like? Could I make this into a movie?"

If you happen to be reading this because maybe you have heard of this Memorable Mutilations award winning movie and you don't want to take the risk of throwing up in your mouth or being so affected by this movie that you can never get your normal life back, don't worry: you won't. In fact, right now, if you know this movie is about a crazed German(fucking Germans) surgeon deciding he wants to surgically attach three poeple together yet create a fluid single digestive tract that flows through each person to the next, you are probably thinking of much worse images than are displayed in this film. You do see the "centipede" in all its glory, a young woman being #3(her mouth attached to #2 butthole, mouth gaping open as to digest the..um...you get the idea), her bestee female being #2(butt attached to #3, but her mouth is also attached to #1 butthole), and a Japanese man being #1(figures it would be a man's ass attached to a girl's mouth, he doesn't even have to go through the most horrible part, his mouth is not attached to anything). But when you see the centipede writhing around, young man in front screaming in Japanese and cursing, you never really have to see the, shall we say "fluids" going from one person to next.

Instead, this movie counts on the great and natural acting on the part of the players that make up the centipede. Thier disgust and horror during these critical moments allow the audience to fill in the blanks, making for a possibly more grisly movie than if the gore was completely out there since relies on each individual audience members own imagination. It does go without saying there are a few moments when one might be prone to vomit in their popcorn, but more than likely the faint of heart and queezy wouldn't be watching this anyways. I was more disgusted by the premise than the actual movie itself. I really didn't think it was so repulsive afterwards. I guess watching it allows viewer to realize it is incredibly goofy and pretty much impossible.

Stay strong readers, seek out this movie and watch. If you can handle a little bit of the absurdly disturbing, you should be able to handle "The Human Centipede". Besides, if there is a need for water cooler conversation, this is probably going to be the conversation starter of the fucking year.

I have seen alot of documentaries about horror classics in recent years, and I am not sure why. To be honest, why there have been so many doesn't make a lick of difference: every single one gets better than the next. 

"Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy" is hands down the best documentary concerning horror films  I HAVE EVER SEEN. With this four hour loving tribute to the Nightmare On Elm Street series, every single second of film seems to get more and more interesting and entertaining as the next second rolls by. 

Yes,  in the battle over Freddy VS Jason, I have always been a cheerleader on the Freddy side. That does not make me an obsessed fan. That being said, I felt there were no prerequisites to watching this documentary about ol' knives for fingers Freddy. In fact, I would be willing to bet money and say even if you have never watched a minute of any of the films in your life, this movie would be so great that one would watch all the way through, then probably go out and find copies of the franchise's films.

Almost every single member of cast, crew, or just superfans come out to take us on a journey through each film individually. There are even a couple of film chapters devoted to just the memorabillia and fans. I cannot really put my finger on why this documentary is so damn interesting and magnetic, but it was so wonderfully packed with entertaining anecdotes that the 4 hours seemed like they went by in less than half the time.  Part of this might have to do with the way this movie truly delves into every unexplored experience through the eyes of all the poeple involved in the process instead of just watching a bunch of critics tell audience why each film is great. As a matter of fact, some of the films themselves aren't that great at all, and the people giving the interview make fun of whichever one they were in. 

There is a sense of humor  displayed by pretty much everyone involved that does not bring the movie down to a level of pretentiousness, and that is quite refreshing. Hell, Robert Englund could have probably just sat in front of a camera all alone and told one of the many crazy stories he gathered by playing Freddy and that would have still been pretty fucking great. For a guy who has maybe scared the pants off of any person who watched Nightmare on Elm Street, he is suprisingly funny and well spoken.

I would say immediatly go out and buy if you have any interest whatsoever in seeing this film, but good luck. I had to buy mine online because even some distributors have this thing on back order. I find it hard to believe that companies honestly had no idea this movie would sell, but then again, most of the idiots making said decisions don't have a clue what they are doing.